2018 is the year of women right?Well, I can’t believe we are only 30 days into the year because it’s been one heck of a year already. As many of you know I entered a competition to become the ‘Face Of Yours’, I never thought anything would come of it but here I am, this common Yorkshire lassie gracing your screens sponsoring Loose Women.
A few weeks ago I and eleven women were asked to go and film an advert that basically promotes body confidence and shows understanding that every woman really does have a story to tell.
If you follow me on Instagram you will have seen a short story of my body confidence journey. All my life I have struggled with my weight and people have never been shy to point it out when I’m carrying a few extra lbs. It has always got to me and I would be lying if I said it still doesn’t.
The issue that I have is conforming; I’ve never been one for it if I’m honest. I dropped out of University the first time round, I upped and left my life behind at 21 to live in New York, I didn’t want to settle down nor have children, but I don’t regret any of it because I have so many amazing memories to look back on.
Hypocritically, one thing I always tried to conform to was body image. I’ve tried the most ridiculous diets over the years, and I’ve yo-yoed SO much with it. I just wanted to peak at some point in my life, I’ve never been skinny or pretty in my eyes. But I’ve now realised how much I set myself unrealistic goals, and they may be achievable but not maintainable. I can’t say there has been a day where I haven’t looked at the Kardashians on social media and just thought WHYYYYYYYYY do I not look like them. Well, now I can tell you why I don’t…
I’m a working class girl; I have a working class budget. Therefore, I can’t afford a chef, nor can afford all the ingredients that it takes to eat like they do. Also, I can’t afford all the freeze lipo they have, or the anti-cellulite treatments, or the vampire facials that make their skin look flawless. I still love the Kardashians don’t get me wrong, but let’s be real, trying to copy their lifestyle on £7 an hour just ain’t gonna cut it.
I eat healthy, I work out 3-4 times a week and that’s about as much as I can do right now. We’re constantly looking up to celebrities that fetch out 3 minute workout DVDs that ensure you’ll be the next Kim K after you’ve completed it. It’s all such a load of bullshit, sorry for my language…
These celebs put on weight purposely to drastically lose it so we can all buy into their lifestyle. Ye, they might make a difference, but unless you can pay for a personal trainer and a chef that cooks gluten free, dairy free, invisible food diet then it just ain’t gonna work. Especially if you work full time, or have kids and don’t have nannies, let’s be real.
My point is, why do we feel the need to conform? What the hell is wrong with looking the way we do? I look at so many people who fetch themselves down constantly and I just can’t understand why. If you follow my blog you will have seen my transformation post about my best friend Hannah. Well, this day at Yours Clothing was a transformation day for me.
Although I want to continue my ‘healthy’ lifestyle and still work out every week, my reasoning for it has completely changed. 30 days ago it was because all I saw in the mirror was a big fat ugly pig. Now, although I still kind of see that, my reasoning is just to be healthy and happy. If in three months’ time I lose some weight, ye I’m not denying I won’t be happy about it, but if I don’t at least I know it’s not through lack of trying.
I do workouts that benefit me because I find them fun. Years ago I lived off 400 calories a day and worked off 700 at the gym. I was extremely tiny on my top half for my frame, but was I happier? I can honestly say no, because nothing was ever enough, I wanted to lose more. I look through pictures from a few months ago where I was ashamed to leave the house because of how fat I thought I were, now I look at them and think I wish I was skinny as I was there. So, I’m not gonna look back anymore, I’m going to embrace everything about me along the way. I know I’ll never be confident because it’s not in my nature, but instead of putting myself down and hiding in my bedroom and refusing to go out, I’ll just crack on and enjoy life.
I’ve decided to share with you pictures of me and the girls from our day with Yours Clothing. Some girls were so confident and I envied it, while some were just like me and it broke my heart because all I could see were beautiful women with amazing souls.
All the girls all had their own story to tell, how they’ve battled with self-confidence and the need to be socially accepted. I hope our campaign makes all the women out there with their story to tell realise, that it’s ok to talk up and acknowledge that you’re struggling. I’ve always been afraid to do it myself, but with the support of these women and the amazing people that work for Yours, I can finally do it… and so can you.
There’s a support system out there, just get in touch.
I’m always here.
Lots of love my old muckers
P.s just look how beautiful everyone looks with a smile.